Remember those aptitude tests from high school? I scored really well in the areas of nursing and agriculture, which was weird, because there were probably no two academic areas in which I had less knowledge, interest, or skill than nursing and agriculture. When I discovered that most of my friends scored high in those fields as well, I concluded that the nursing and agriculture industries were hurting for recruits, and helpful educators were trying to herd students their way.
Anyway, had there been a career category for “band name creator” when I got out of high school, that’s probably what I would have chosen to pursue. Being a music geek and a word geek, I have been obsessed with band names for as long as I can remember. Even now, when I have nothing better to do, I sometimes see how many band names I can dream up. For the exercise below, I decided to narrow my focus to names for hypothetical tribute bands. The links are to the original artists’ entries in the magnificent All Music online encyclopedia.
- Mostly Sonny (Sonny & Cher, but the guy does most of the singing)
- Melvilles (Melvins – but also play Led Zeppelin’s “Moby Dick”)
- Meetwood Flac (Fleetwood Mac, but they play the songs backwards)
- Florence + the Machete (Florence + the Machine, but with more edge)
- Sore Like an Eagle (Eagles, with musicians as old as the originals; and that one Steve Miller song)
- Mumps & Sons (Mumford & Sons, plus PSAs about childhood vaccination)
- The Beetles and Monkeys (The Beatles and The Monkees: members who are also spelling bee judges)
- Sgt. Dr. Salt-n-Pepa (The Beatles and Salt-n-Pepa, plus soda-pop commercial jingles)
- The Band Band (The Band)
- The Banned (The Sex Pistols)
- Bond Blombshell (James Bond movie theme songs)
- Madonna Summer (‘80s disco)
- John Coal Train (jazz versions of train songs)
- Acid Reflux (‘60s psychedelic rock)
- New Backstreet Boyz II Men on the Block (‘90s boy bands)
- The Burrito Supremes (The Flying Burrito Brothers and The Supremes)
- French Kiss (Kiss – now with even more tongue!)
- The Whom (The Who, but more objective </grammar joke>)
- The Rolling Drones (The Rolling Stones, but with tone-deaf musicians)
- AD/HD (AC/DC on Adderall)
- Tony! Toni! Toné! Bennett — (American standards done funk-style)
If that happened to have inspired you to come up with some band names of your own, share in the comments.
Michael Heatherly. Michael Heatherly is the editor of NWLawyer. He practices law in Bellingham and owns Northwest Dispute Resolution Group, a mediation and arbitration organization.
