Remember those aptitude tests from high school? I scored really well in the areas of nursing and agriculture, which was weird, because there were probably no two academic areas in which I had less knowledge, interest, or skill than nursing and agriculture. When I discovered that most of my friends scored high in those fields as well, I concluded that the nursing and agriculture industries were hurting for recruits, and helpful educators were trying to herd students their way.
Anyway, had there been a career category for “band name creator” when I got out of high school, that’s probably what I would have chosen to pursue. Being a music geek and a word geek, I have been obsessed with band names for as long as I can remember. Even now, when I have nothing better to do, I sometimes see how many band names I can dream up. For the exercise below, I decided to narrow my focus to names for hypothetical tribute bands. The links are to the original artists’ entries in the magnificent All Music online encyclopedia.
- Mostly Sonny (Sonny & Cher, but the guy does most of the singing)
- Melvilles (Melvins – but also play Led Zeppelin’s “Moby Dick”)
- Meetwood Flac (Fleetwood Mac, but they play the songs backwards)
- Florence + the Machete (Florence + the Machine, but with more edge)
- Sore Like an Eagle (Eagles, with musicians as old as the originals; and that one Steve Miller song)
- Mumps & Sons (Mumford & Sons, plus PSAs about childhood vaccination)
- The Beetles and Monkeys (The Beatles and The Monkees: members who are also spelling bee judges)
- Sgt. Dr. Salt-n-Pepa (The Beatles and Salt-n-Pepa, plus soda-pop commercial jingles)
- The Band Band (The Band)
- The Banned (The Sex Pistols)
- Bond Blombshell (James Bond movie theme songs)
- Madonna Summer (‘80s disco)
- John Coal Train (jazz versions of train songs)
- Acid Reflux (‘60s psychedelic rock)
- New Backstreet Boyz II Men on the Block (‘90s boy bands)
- The Burrito Supremes (The Flying Burrito Brothers and The Supremes)
- French Kiss (Kiss – now with even more tongue!)
- The Whom (The Who, but more objective </grammar joke>)
- The Rolling Drones (The Rolling Stones, but with tone-deaf musicians)
- AD/HD (AC/DC on Adderall)
- Tony! Toni! Toné! Bennett — (American standards done funk-style)
If that happened to have inspired you to come up with some band names of your own, share in the comments.