Below is NWLawyer editor/Bar Beat columnist Michael Heatherly’s take on horoscopes, tailored to WSBA members.
Aquarius (Jan 20–Feb 18): Expect the unexpected, especially since you just accidentally emailed your grocery list to a client instead of your spouse.
Pisces (Feb 19–Mar 20): You will feel a little older and wiser, and slightly disappointed, when the office manager informs you that Google Fiber is not a diet supplement.
Aries (Mar 21–Apr 19): It’s time for repairing interpersonal bonds with the staff, as office morale has stretched thinner than a pair of Lululemon yoga pants.
Taurus (Apr 20–May 20): You decide to reconsider your approach to personal relationships now that you’ve discovered even your imaginary lover is seeing someone else.
Gemini (May 21–Jun 20): You’ll wonder whether you need to get out more, as you realize you measure happiness by how many hours you get to spend with your iPad.
Cancer (Jun 21–Jul 22): You find that some of your colleagues are calmer, with a heightened sensitivity to your ideas. Upon reflection, you realize this began right around the time I–502 passed.
Leo (Jul 23–Aug 22): Though your thoughts on the subject remain nebulous, you begin to rethink your plans for a Carnival cruise to Korea.
Virgo (Aug–23–Sep 21): You are in an unusually expansive state, but maybe it was just the IKEA meatballs someone left in the lunchroom.
Libra (Sep 22–Oct 23): Gloom and despair abound, but you can avoid them easily enough by staying away from Safeco Field.
Scorpio (Oct 24–Nov 21): You realize that prosperity for you could be right around the corner. Unfortunately, “right around the corner” means “in the client trust account.”
Sagittarius (Nov 22–Dec 21): You will contemplate your mortality and realize your law practice succession plan needs to be more than an answering machine message saying, “I’m dead. Leave me alone.”
Capricorn (Dec 22–Jan 19): As you try to ponder the nature of being a Capricorn, all you can think about is how good a piece of corn on the cob would taste right now.