Men’s Fall Fashion: Overcoats!

I wear a suit all day, every day. My closet is packed with so many suits that I hardly have room for much else, especially not my collection of unopened Coke Zero cans depicting images from the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Sure, the online market may undervalue them now, but I’ll be the one laughing from the driver’s seat of my gold rocket car when I sell them in 10 years for a tidy profit.

But anyhoo… back to suits. Now that the weather has turned cold, I can’t just wear any coat with my suit. My options are limited mostly to overcoats, trench coats (for when it’s raining), and similar styles. The coat must be big enough and long enough to securely fit over my suit jacket, but not so big that I look like a freshman high school kid leaving for the homecoming dance with Alicia Peacock in my middle-aged father’s mustard yellow dinner jacket. (No, I won’t share details.) There are, thankfully, a few coats that fit this bill.

Banana Republic Wool Double-Layer Coat ($275)

This handsome coat comes in two colors: black and sorta-black. It’s 62% wool, 33% polyester, and 5% “other fibers.” The cleaning instructions are as follows: leave it with a credible dry cleaner and ask them to clean it. It comes free with compliments from other “bros” who shop at Banana Republic.

J. Crew Ludlow Topcoat ($450)

This classically styled overcoat is available in wool-cashmere and, when worn, is proven to make any handsome model look like a handsome model in a topcoat. The coat is available in four colors, including navy blue, or as my wife calls it, “That’s not navy blue, that’s black!” Please note: the button cuffs are nonfunctional.

Express Navy Slim Wool Blend Coat ($268)

Express has this sleek overcoat available in Senator Blue (that’s just a fancy name for dark blue). Its simple design, slim fit tailoring, and two-button closure will definitely emphasize any unfit man’s pudgy potbelly. This coat is not recommended for wearing after large meals.

If you feel lost in selecting a stylish overcoat, you’re not alone. I recommend delegating the duty to your spouse or significant other, and if you’re alone in this world, then stop crying and chin up: the holidays are coming, during which time people tend to flirt more. Your chances for success are about to increase, my friend. And if you’re interested in those Coke cans, please email me at JurisDoctorCollectibleTreasures@hotmail.com (serious bidders only, please).